The reason that God takes such a strong stand against bitterness and unforgiveness is because when you refuse to forgive, you are turned over to torment - and He after all, is a God of peace and refuge.
Bitterness ties you to your victimizer in the realm of your memories and emotions. As long as you refuse to eradicate the poison of bitterness in your heart, the individual who sought to destroy you has the power to repeat the crime repeatedly in your soul. Every time you remember it, you will relive it. That is why forgiveness is such a selfish thing. It is not about the victimizer being set free - it is about you and me being set free.
To sever controlling ties from a past victimizer, deal with your bitterness by confronting it for what it is. Then, you must take all steps necessary to root out the bitterness in your conversation, your thinking, your perceptions of what occurred, your rehearsing of what occurred, and your attitude about whether it has taken something irreplaceable from your life.
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